Sexy Secrets Radio — Kathi and Abigail — Part 2 Edited composition 9:05. Speaker labels are automated; Speaker 7/8 and overlapping speech need human review. This segment begins and ends mid-conversation. Timestamps are from the edited Descript composition. [00:00–00:06] Abigail: what we forget, sometimes we kinda like just, we just want other people to understand- [00:06–00:06] Kathi: Mm [00:06–00:09] Abigail: ... that we are s- stress out, right? But what- We [00:09–00:11] Kathi: wanna be heard. Yes We wanna be seen. [00:12–00:18] Abigail: The thing is tension is contagious. [00:19–00:19] Kathi: True. [00:20–00:26] Abigail: So when you enter the room Some people, like for ex- especially if your partner, because that's the- Mm-hmm [00:26–00:28] Abigail: closest person you have. [00:28–00:28] Kathi: Absolutely. [00:28–00:31] Abigail: They can feel that tension that you have. [00:31–00:32] Kathi: Mm-hmm. [00:32–00:34] Abigail: You know? And- And [00:34–00:41] Kathi: sometimes they may misinterpret that, that, that you're tense about them. About them, yes. And, and it might not have anything to do with them. [00:41–00:47] Abigail: Yeah, that's what I, I mentioned earlier- Yes ... that when you get home in the evening- [00:47–00:47] Kathi: Mm-hmm [00:47–01:00] Abigail: after a full day of stress, and then they touch you, it feel hurt, you know? Right. It's, like, painful, like that. And then they felt like you don't want them. [01:00–01:01] Kathi: Mm-hmm. [01:01–01:01] Abigail: You know? [01:01–01:05] Kathi: Because it, it, it sends... It's like mixed messages, right? [01:05–01:05] Abigail: Yes, yes. [01:05–01:06] Kathi: Mm-hmm. [01:06–01:09] Abigail: It's a subconscious, you know, mirror of the [01:09–01:24] Kathi: tension. And I think it's important to find a way, you know, in between your work and your home life, and then your love life, it's, it's important to somehow decompress. [01:24–01:28] Kathi: Yes. Somehow, form that separation. [01:28–01:29] Abigail: Yes [01:29–01:32] Kathi: ... and so, and easier said than done, right? [01:32–01:42] Abigail: Yes. Mm. Because sometimes it could cause us to go, you know, like, we call it, like, bouncing the stress- [01:43–01:43] Kathi: Mm-hmm [01:43–01:46] Abigail: ... back and forth, back and forth with the other person. [01:46–01:46] Kathi: Mm-hmm. You [01:46–01:47] Abigail: know what I mean? [01:47–01:48] Kathi: Absolutely. [01:48–01:51] Abigail: And that ended, that could ended up... [01:51–01:54] Abigail: And we've kind of like experienced it, es- especially in our younger days- [01:54–01:54] Kathi: Mm-hmm [01:55–01:59] Abigail: ... that it ended up into a not so good conversation. [01:59–01:59] Kathi: Sure. [01:59–02:00] Abigail: You know what I mean? [02:00–02:04] Kathi: Well, I mean, and think about this. You know, when we... You talked about when somebody walks into the room. [02:04–02:05] Abigail: Uh-huh. [02:05–02:15] Kathi: That energy that they bring in with them, you know, whenever I come into the office, I, I always try to start my day and speak- Yeah [02:15–02:17] Kathi: speak to the staff at the, the front desk. [02:17–02:18] Abigail: Uh-huh. [02:18–02:22] Kathi: You know, whoever else I see, and, and with a smile and say good morning. [02:23–02:23] Abigail: Mm-hmm. [02:23–02:25] Kathi: Because that brings a positive energy- [02:25–02:26] Abigail: Yeah [02:26–02:27] Kathi: ... into that room. [02:27–02:30] Abigail: And it kinda helps you bring down the stress level. [02:30–02:31] Kathi: Mm-hmm. [02:31–02:35] Abigail: Kind of like that, because apparently, like, it's like our battery, right? [02:35–02:42] Abigail: Right. The more stress we go on through all day, it lowers our battery, level. [02:42–02:43] Kathi: So much. [02:43–02:53] Abigail: So at the end of the day, we might just have, like, 5% of battery. Mm-hmm. Just enough for us to get home. [02:53–02:53] Kathi: Right. [02:53–03:06] Abigail: And then when we do that, Our physical energy holding on into a muscle tension and your patient's battery is very low. [03:06–03:06] Kathi: Mm-hmm. [03:06–03:11] Abigail: So you find yourself s- it's like a short fuse. [03:11–03:11] Kathi: Mm-hmm. [03:11–03:15] Abigail: So easy to get snappy, kind of like that. [03:16–03:31] Kathi: So what are some ways that you think that we, that people could, kind of decompress and go from, you know, their, their hard day at work to now we're back at, now we're at home? What are some ways that people can... [03:31–03:33] Kathi: And sorry, I might be skipping ahead. [03:33–03:34] Abigail: Oh, no. You're good. You're good. [03:34–03:47] Kathi: But, you know, I, I think, you know, maybe going for a walk, maybe taking a bath, just finding little ways, you know. And, and I think about people who have long commutes. [03:48–03:48] Abigail: Yes. [03:48–03:55] Kathi: You know, is there... How can you make that commute more relaxing? [03:55–04:05] Abigail: Well, I actually read about it, that people that commutes, like for example, 20, 30 minutes- [04:05–04:05] Kathi: Mm-hmm [04:05–04:09] Abigail: ... from work to home, it's actually healthier- [04:09–04:10] Kathi: Mm-hmm [04:10–04:12] Abigail: ... because that gives them time to [04:12–04:12] Kathi: decompress. Mm-hmm. [04:12–04:15] Abigail: You know? Reset their mind from work. [04:16–04:18] Kathi: Unless you're in a high city traffic. [04:18–04:19] Abigail: Oh, yeah. [04:20–04:25] Kathi: So like for, like for example, when, when I'm, when I go to the office in Hattiesburg- Uh-huh [04:25–04:28] Kathi: I, I have a th- almost exactly a 30-minute drive home. [04:28–04:29] Abigail: Yes. [04:29–04:32] Kathi: And it is, it is just the perfect time. [04:32–04:33] Abigail: Yeah. [04:33–04:37] Kathi: I rarely have any stress or traffic because we live in South Mississippi. [04:37–04:38] Abigail: Yes, yes. [04:38–04:38] Kathi: So, my- [04:38–04:40] Abigail: Especially if I take Highway 11. [04:40–04:46] Kathi: Exactly. My commute is so m- much more relaxing- [04:46–04:46] Abigail: Uh-huh [04:47–04:50] Kathi: ... than if I lived in downtown Atlanta. [04:50–04:52] Abigail: Yes. You know? True. Very true. Yes. [04:52–04:58] Kathi: That would be, to have to drive- Uh-huh ... in that kind of traffic every day- Mm-hmm ... that's a lot. [04:58–04:59] Abigail: Yes. [04:59–05:04] Kathi: So I mean, after I got... If, if I had to do that every day, I would need to decompress after I got home. [05:04–05:14] Abigail: When I used to live in, Central Florida, You know, it, it's not as congested as Atlanta, but it can get congested too. Sure. [05:14–05:16] Abigail: Were you in, like, the Tampa area? [05:16–05:18] Abigail: No, Central Florida. Oh Like Orlando. [05:18–05:19] Kathi: Orlando, [05:19–05:26] Kathi: okay. Mm-hmm. So I had a habit of listening to audiobooks- [05:27–05:27] Abigail: Mm-hmm [05:27–05:28] Abigail: ... at that time. [05:28–05:29] Kathi: Right. I [05:29–05:30] Speaker 8: think that's a great way to decompress. [05:30–05:34] Speaker 7: Yes, yes. I used to listen to audiobooks. [05:35–05:43] Speaker 7: now it's kind of like you and I had a same, travel from downtown Hattiesburg to home- Mm-hmm ... right? [05:43–05:44] Speaker 8: Right. [05:44–05:51] Speaker 7: So w- this time I'm kind of, like, hooked into, 'Cause I used to dance. [05:51–05:52] Speaker 8: Oh, nice. [05:52–05:56] Speaker 7: So going back into those, music back in the day- [05:56–05:56] Speaker 8: Mm-hmm [05:56–05:59] Speaker 7: ... and I play my dance steps in my head. [05:59–06:00] Speaker 8: Ah. You [06:00–06:00] Speaker 7: know? [06:00–06:01] Speaker 8: Nice, nice. [06:01–06:11] Speaker 7: So it, it's n- it's kind of like my way of decompressing, and it gives me a happy hormone listening to those, fast-paced- [06:11–06:12] Speaker 8: Oh, yeah [06:12–06:13] Speaker 7: ... music. Yes. [06:13–06:23] Speaker 8: Well, I think, you know, we... I think we do that with our music, and we play it, play different types of music- Yeah ... for different types of moods. [06:23–06:24] Speaker 7: Yes, absolutely. [06:24–06:31] Speaker 8: On a, on a weekend I play a lot of smooth jazz, because it's just relaxing. [06:31–06:40] Speaker 8: It's chill. if it's a Friday night it might be more of a party type of music- Yes, yes ... and more uplifting type- Yes ... of things. [06:41–07:06] Speaker 7: So it says that just telling your brain to calm down- Hmm ... sometimes, most of the time, it really ki- just does not work. Mm-hmm. You have to do something, and listening to music, it's actually feeding your brain with, some o- s- you know, some things that would be able to calm it down. [07:07–07:07] Speaker 8: Mm-hmm. [07:07–07:10] Speaker 7: And it finally, releases the stress- [07:10–07:10] Speaker 8: Mm-hmm [07:10–07:11] Speaker 7: ... from our body. [07:11–07:15] Speaker 8: Well, it's just like whenever you have a, a massage therapy session. [07:15–07:15] Speaker 7: Yeah. [07:15–07:23] Speaker 8: You usually have very relaxing music playing in the background. Yeah, mm-hmm. And that's very intentional, Yes ... you know, in a massage, situation. [07:23–07:25] Speaker 7: Yes. Thank you. Mm-hmm. [07:26–07:41] Speaker 7: Yes. One of the thing, as a massage therapist, I'm glad you mentioned that, as in a massage therapy, perspective, and you're right, getting a massage manually forces your body out of survival mode- [07:41–07:41] Speaker 8: Mm [07:41–07:49] Speaker 7: ... by flushing out stress toxins and releasing oxytos- oxytocins- Oxytocins, I love it ... or the connection hormone. [07:49–07:55] Speaker 7: So, I notice that couples that comes in- [07:55–07:55] Speaker 8: Mm-hmm [07:56–07:59] Speaker 7: ... either they go on with, like, couples massage- [07:59–08:00] Speaker 8: Mm-hmm [08:01–08:04] Speaker 7: ... or just come in individually. [08:04–08:04] Speaker 8: Mm-hmm. [08:05–08:24] Speaker 7: right after the session, you can tell... If, if they go, if they come in together as a couple, like couples massage, they would come out from that couples room, like they have the change physical expression, body language towards each other. [08:24–08:25] Speaker 8: Right. [08:25–08:26] Speaker 7: You know what I mean? [08:26–08:26] Speaker 8: Mm-hmm. [08:27–08:31] Speaker 7: It, I can see that it's helping the bonding- [08:31–08:31] Speaker 8: Definitely [08:31–08:44] Speaker 7: ... you know? And- Definitely. Mm-hmm, and I believe that couples, like, it's necessary to not just take it for granted. [08:44–08:45] Speaker 8: Mm-hmm. [08:45–08:50] Speaker 7: You know? Make a plan. Mm-hmm. You know, do that, like, together. [08:50–08:51] Speaker 8: Absolutely. And [08:51–08:52] Speaker 7: I think that would be great. [08:52–08:53] Speaker 8: Mm-hmm. [08:53–08:53] Speaker 7: Yes. [08:54–08:59] Speaker 8: I bet you can just see just the whole body posture- Yeah ... from the time they came in. [08:59–09:00] Speaker 7: They soften. [09:00–09:01] Speaker 8: Mm-hmm. [09:01–09:01] Speaker 7: Yes. [09:01–09:02] Speaker 8: Yes. [09:02–09:04] Speaker 7: Kind of like that. And-